The (Not) Like A Virgin Guide to Creating Stuff

Philadelphia, 1972. It is the first day of class at Moore College of Art and Design, and a professor leans against his desk. He is rolling up his pressed cotton shirtsleeves with paper-like folds, methodical in the September sunlight. As the squeak of wooden chairs dies down, he neatly finishes with his cuffs and turns his attention to the room full of all-female freshman. His introduction is brief: he says, calmly: “There are no virgins in my class.” 

Do you think he had their full, outraged attention? Damn straight he did. This is a trick every writer should learn. Seven words, spoken almost fifty years ago, and we’re still talking about it. 

Of course I wouldn’t recommend using those words, particularly if you are an older male professor at an all-female college. This is advice I believe to be sound whether the year is 1972 or 2020. For only seven words, there are – as academics say – many things to unpack1

There are two parts to this smoking gun of a statement. The first – the technique – is the trigger; the words themselves. They are incendiary, provocative, infuriating. These words manage that most difficult of acts – capturing head and gut together. In the same way the most effective memory palaces often tie information to R-rated imagery, the statement’s framing triggers listeners’ gag reflex along with their imagination. The strength of the reaction guarantees a memory is formed. It is what gives these words their staying power. 

The second part of this statement is the content – the bullets, if you will. Bullet points. I have obligingly arranged four of them below for your perusal. 

But before you get to them, let me line up some additional circumstantial evidence to support my case for these words’ depth beneath the conceit. This particular professor’s other signature phrase (as became apparent to students throughout the rest of the semester) was: “There is nothing new under the sun.”2 To wit: the artist isn’t inviolable. 

A human unquestionably has the right to chose whether or not to engage in sex. A writer – once engaged in art – cannot choose to keep ideas out or in. They are immediately compromised by their eyes, their mind, and the actions and interactions necessary towards putting their ideas into the world. The popular conception of Genius, the stereotype of the “sole creator visited by revelation”, therefore fails to acknowledge the artist as one more participant in a complex ecosystem of knowledge. 

Failure to acknowledge a fact doesn’t make it go away. This particular failure can, however, cripple a writer’s efforts to produce intelligent work. There is no such thing as intellectual chastity, and artists fail the ideas that drive them by pretending to it.

This line of reasoning leads me to the following four points – my own expansion of the professor’s seven words. What it loses in concision, it makes up for in PG rating. 

The (Not) Like A Virgin Guide to Creating Stuff

  1. You don’t create in isolation. You are not – and should never try to be – safe from others’ ideas and influences. Seek out intellectual viewpoints different from your own. Rigorously engage with them. Figure out what you think about them, and why you think that way. Other’s ideas, whether you agree with them or not, are powerful tools with which to shape and magnify your own unique viewpoint. 
  2. You don’t create in a state of purity. Interesting viewpoints don’t arise from mental or emotional abstinence. Engage with the world around you, and don’t be afraid to feel things strongly. You may choose to later refine the expression, but the initial emotional burst often provides the energy necessary to see the piece through to completion. 
  3. Step away from perfection, move toward the unknown. Your own ideas are not perfect and untouchable. Productivity is a constant negotiation with flaws. Don’t be afraid to write two pages and discard one, or chop and splice away until the piece that emerges is substantially different from your initial idea. Your work’s flaws may be attacked by others; that is to be expected. Your job is simply to make sure it doesn’t attack itself from within by never seeing the light of day. This may mean discarding your initial vision for the piece.
  4. Don’t view others’ work as pure and perfect, either. Be unafraid to question, take apart and reconstruct ideas and work that has meaning to you. Autopsy your idols, if you will; seek their mystery. Give credit honestly, generously, frequently: it’s one of those small courtesies of civilization that make the whole house of cards worthwhile.

1 Let’s address this in the footnotes: not because I believe it should be metaphorically shoved to the bottom of the page, but because I believe you are smart enough to already sense the problems intrinsic with the statement. In the spirit of putting a few of those problems on paper, here it is: viewed from 1972 and second-wave feminism, the words were an uncomfortable shock. They smacked of chauvinistic gatekeeping, a boys-club bastion around the perception of creative and professional excellence. Viewed from today’s #MeToo movement, they become downright skin crawling: a hint of intent towards a more physical threat. 

However, based on other anecdotes of this particular professor, I believe him guilty of chauvinism but not intent towards physical harm. And that doesn’t mean I’m not perfectly happy to pull apart his words to see what gives them that fifty-year punch.


2  You may be questioning my sources. My mother was one of the art students in that freshman class.

Big Cat Thoughts

Big cat thoughts
Today, tomorrow and tonight. 
Glints of color no one knows,
Beyond the spectrum
Beyond the reason and the right. 

It’s not “just another,” it’s not quiet. 
It’s not staying calm, cool, 
Collecting stamps –
This thrill in some sort of fight. 

Today, tomorrow and tonight – 
Through the whisper and the fright, 
Let the record show:
I was alive.

Call It A Tiger

As it roars, call it a tiger.
Call it burning bright, black and gold –
Swoosh of fur and silent gaze, 
The thunder, fury and the thrill
 
Of seconds’ hanging on. 
They weren’t joking
When they said don’t lose your grip.  

But this secret grin doesn’t care.

“Am I A Writer If No One Reads?”

It’s every writer’s fear, the question1 that keeps us up at night: “Am I a writer if no one reads?”

If you see a parallel to certain notorious ponderings concerning trees and forests…you’re correct. And yes, it’s ridiculous. The identity of “writer” derives, ipso facto, from one simple act. Can you guess what it is? Hint: it’s in the name. 

I know it, you know it, it’s the biggest secret everybody knows: just put words on paper2. Heck, they don’t even have to be good words. That’s what editing is for. So yes…a readerless writer is still a writer. 

But writers are greedy. They don’t just want to be writers. No, one identity isn’t enough. They want more. They want to be loved. They want everyone to walk around all day and all night, circadian rhythms be damned, with their words incubating in their skulls. Writers want what good songwriters have: that little trick of becoming infectious. 

Here’s a tip. If you need to take out a writer, don’t count on silver or crucifixes. There’s a simple question that slays writers, stops ‘em dead in their tracks – poisons them with writer’s block, terminal angst, and the rest of the stereotypical nonsense:

“How do you make something so intoxicating that no one can walk away?”

How do you take a piece of someone’s brain3, 4 – and make them want you to keep it5?

Honestly, writers are still making up their collective mind whether their next career transition will see them as zombies or heroin dealers. It’s a toss-up. The odds don’t look good for the non-writing populace6

But one thing is clear: writers are, every one of them, stricken with a helpless and uncontrollable urge to infect the population with their words. Don’t prep for the Zombie Apocalypse, kids, the Writer’s Contagion is already among us. 


Bonus tip: If you’re still short on readers, duct tape works surprisingly well. Just a word to the wise. 


1 Well, the second of two – the first is: what if tomorrow there are no more words?
2 Screen… whatever. Allow me my romance here.
3 Nothing on WikiHow. I swear, the DIY community is only there when you don’t need them. They have how many tutorials on painting your nails?
4 “I swear, Officer, I was only writing – what does it look like?”
5 “All I want is your brain…” – not a great conversation starter. Even Marc Antony only got away with borrowing ears. 
6 At this point I’m honestly just curious how many footnotes you’ll put up with.

Systems Test

What if tomorrow – all the words stopped?

What if I was reduced to typing the alphabet, over and over again?

What if the words’ departure wasn’t a sudden catastrophe? What if the words slowed to a trickle but didn’t quite stop, just turned muddy and stagnant like a runoff stream in high summer. It begins with this next sentence I can’t quite grasp. 

Or what if it’s already begun, and no one has told me. “Are you going to?” “Should we?” “Naaaah… Maybe tomorrow. Maybe it will have completely stopped by then and we won’t have to.” “Oh I like that plan!”

Maybe the words just lose their savor over time. Maybe it just means less and less to finish a piece of writing. I’ll end up like a heroin addict chasing the dragon: never as good as that first time, that first shot of pleasure that sat up, licked its chops and growled,”Do it again.”

Maybe it will stop once every part of me worth saving is plastered to the page. They can keep the collection pinned to cotton under glass, a museum display or coffee table curiosity for hipsters.

Maybe I should get a grip, take a walk, put my inner drama queen back in a padded room, and get back to work.

After all, this was just a systems test. The words clearly haven’t stopped yet.


Pink Eggs, Black Lace

To each of us, today means something different. It may be a day to rest, grieve, bake, call family, or simply business as usual. Whatever your day holds, thank you for sharing this piece of it with me. 

I woke up at 3 a.m. from a restless dream of trying to remember where I’d stored my childhood Easter decorations. Specifically, my dream-self was rummaging for a small, rotating German music box with carved wooden bunnies and slots to hold eggs. I loved that thing. It’s at my parent’s house. I promptly fell down the rabbit hole remembering Easters of my earliest childhood, when my mom still had energy to clean the house and decorate a month in advance, drape the house in black lace for Good Friday, and collect onion skins and beets to dye hard-boiled eggs pink and gold. 

Today will be different from those early Easters for quite a few reasons, but I’m glad I found the memories nestled in my morning. Now I’m off to call my parents and thank them for putting up with me all those years ago. Whatever your day holds, and whatever meaning it holds for you – I hope you find a beautiful memory to savor sometime today. 


On Good Friday, I came down
To a flowering tree wrapped around
In black lace. My mother’s gift of understanding:
A story is not always what it seems. 

Saturday the kitchen hummed
Steam and simmer, work to be done –
“Stay out of trouble!” – that night,
Through hard bench and incense,
I napped through vigil towards morning.

Sunday bright, pink and gold
Beet, onion skin stain bright and bold
Eggs in a basket. Through quake and gardener,
Eggshells hold. These colors’ gift of mystery:
A story is not always what it seems.


Fragments (c. 2020 PC)

It’s an old evolutionary tale: adaptability beats expertise. It’s better to create than to know everything.

I write from curiosity, 
because the world may not be enough
To hold the otherwise unsaid.

These words left lonely, stillborn
Impossible springs and twilight tears
soft shadows of a question mark:
What do you create towards infinity?


Is it important enough to say? Is it important enough that you can’t avoid saying it? Rather: what is the price of not speaking? (“I say only this, the things too important not to say -”)

I speak because there may not be time
For the things too important not to say. 


Here is the most important question of all: creating at a world’s end. 

What do you create at a world’s end?
Tuck in the threads and rework the song
Craft its ends into hidden rebirth.

We are here to work, we are here to listen,
Tie off ends towards memory, towards forgetting –
Snip the artery, tie off the vein. 

In the needle, within the weft; in the warp and in the hum
You may lose the art of beginning again. Let it go. 
Sometimes you must lose pain, 
But all artists donate organs. Today I give you my heart. 


The act of creation is implicitly one of questioning authority. You are implying that God and your mother didn’t do the job right the first time. What other authority figures might you question?


Is there any question mark to mark this??? Make my mark, mark the record, history will mark? (…Will it?) 


Does any artist have the option of escape
Except by the trick of their own fate, 
The small trick of asking why
This doesn’t yet exist – 
Utopia? At world’s end.  
A small price to pay
For a heart.

Here is my only true confession: forgive me impatience, anger, apathy and pride. Whatever remains, let it remain in love.

Given the choice between my work or my life, 


Curator’s Note: Pencil on paper, c. early 2020s PC (Pre-Crash), Austin, Texas. These fragments were likely part of a notebook or workbook. They were found during an excavation of former Austin apartment complexes by a team from the University of Texas at Big Bend. 

Long Lesson

Vulnerability is one of life’s longer lessons. 

In my case, the lesson didn’t start to sink in until age 23, when it finally dawned on me that presenting perfection may not be an ideal recipe for friendships. I’m still learning.

The idea of friendship aside, I eventually began to understand that perfection is not even a good approach for working relationships. This arises from the principle of “consider the competition.” The aura of perfection produces exactly one outcome on a group of people: it makes each individual feel that they, too, must be perfect. 

A group of people trying to be perfect produces a group of people who are bad at communicating, stunted at sharing ideas, incapable of realizing they’ve made a mistake, and abysmal at fixing that mistake. To put it concisely – it is a fatal distraction from competence. 

In the context of competence, vulnerability is not over-sharing. It’s understanding the relevant flaws and blind spots which may harm a goal – whether the goal is a finished product or the ability of a team to work together (possibly one of the most basic, crucial, and therefore difficult, goals). 

Inevitably, one of those flaws or blind spots will arise from you. Do everyone a favor and mention it. Use humor or strategic doses of self-deprecation as needed. Make it clear you are prepared to be honest with yourself and straightforward with others. This may have the odd and unintended side effect of building trust. 

It kills me to admit it: even now I want to be the expert – the expert on (apparently) lack of perfection. Dear Lord, child, what a tangled web you weave for yourself. Well, there’s a point to this admission of squishiness. Be realistic with yourself about your flaws and inadequacies, because good work has no room for blind spots. If you value good work, quit blinding yourself by trying to blind others. There’s far too much work to be done in this world to excuse trying to rescue your ego at the inevitable expense of your honesty and effective intelligence.

It’s a long lesson, like I said. Gentleness doesn’t come easily. But who knows…you might find a few friends along the way.  

My Listener

My Lord, my listener
You patiently wait
Through the long-drawn breath of my time.
What you gave to me
Will return to you
(Anyone’s guess where the borrowed ribs go) –
This breath that covers my eyes
And clears my sight;
Beating membrane’s spark;
These things alone
Will return, 
You to me to you
When you are finished speaking
Through my voice.

I Look for Gifts in Unusual Places

I look for gifts in unusual places
The quiet lonely spaces 
And the lots overgrown.

The tangle of words 
Where a thought shines free,
The memory that holds a life:
Who am I to refuse these things? 

The glimpse of a seed 
Or the leaves blowing restless – see,
My own words, my own worth, 
Is held in a thing just as small.

I speak only this, 
Words too important not to say:
The story of countless other
May otherwise sleep untold,

But they gift infinity within their glimpse of life.