This may come as a surprise to you: I dislike surprises.
The idea of surprise is interesting, useful, helpful – even essential – to explore. I will, cautiously and with enough advance notice, make exceptions for well-defined surprises on my birthday, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. But actual surprises – the undomesticated variant, in their natural habitat – are not my cup of tea. I try to avoid them as much as possible.
This morning I got a surprise. I thought I was getting a melon. Due to the early hour, I confused the two.
The (apparent) melon was a beautiful specimen. Mottled green and dust-colored skin, no bruises or soft spots – so far so good. When I sliced into it I stopped to admire the sight. The melon’s insides were a rich salmon-pink-orange, flickers of yellow and deep green around the edges of the cut. The smell was delicious.
I grabbed a spoon to scoop out bite-sized chunks. The spoon bounced off the inside of the melon.
I stared. The melon stared back. I tried again; same results. The melon was as hard as an apple.
Apple-textured apples are wonderful. Apple-textured melons are a situation I am not prepared to face.
There was a bit of a skirmish. Tupperware, forks, and multiple knives were involved. Currently things have stabilized into a standoff: half the melon is sulking in the fridge, half the melon is safely in a container, and I’ve retreated to the balcony to sulk in retaliation for the melon’s sulking. I retain my position: melons should not go “crunch.”
Melons should melt, drip, overflow, and generally make as much of a sticky summertime splash zone as possible.
In this time of paper towel shortage – at least this melon won’t make a mess. There may be a silver lining after all.
What a surprise.
Skeleton At The Feast 
I also hate surprises. And I would be very disappointed and upset at a too-hard melon.
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It was definitely a different experience! At least it tasted good, once I readjusted my expectations a bit.
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Thank you,
I enjoyed this and your thoughts on resilience.
We notice that in this “crisis world”, food delivered is often of dubious quality, hopefully this can mean less wastage, but not in the sad case of your melon.
After missing a 2am tide I wrote this…
“The Curlew is a lovely bird with a beautiful call.
I have not read anything about it being nocturnal or insomniac, but my logic dictates that just as the Captain of the Schnark should be governed by the tides more so than by daylight, so should the Curlew who is interested in the tasty morsels which lurk under the intertidal mud.
The main difficulty for me in Lock Down Penge is that where we all used to keep different schedules and thereby avoid bumping into each other and irritating the hell out of each other, (it probably helped that folk would bugger off some where “better” whenever they had leisure), now folk feel mandated to be doing the same thing at the same time. This is particularly annoying in small suburban gardens but also on allotments, for me, less so in supermarket queues as they are more a novelty and even a social event.
I must learn from the Curlew, that daylight is not everything, and that the night can be my territory as much as day. As we approach the solstice the dark hours become precious as day light cheapens. Gardening at night is fraught with difficulty, sailing not, and even the fool who missed the tide was blessed with a small adventure and a break from the suburban routine.
Next weekend I will not try to sleep as the Curlew calls.”
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Haha it was entertaining, and the taste was good. Just a surprise. I enjoyed reading able about your Curlew!
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Ecclesiastes 3:1…melon season is at the end of summer. 😄
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To everything there is a season, very true!
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It’s always disappointing when melons don’t act like melons!! We’ve had two that went from being hard as a rock to rotten with no ideal ripe state in between. If my link above works, you should be able to get a glimpse of an amazing melon my friend and I procured in Verona, Italy…and which travelled with us through Venice to Florence on the train, to be served as a fruitful delicacy (in a shower cap shroud) in our hotel near the Duomo. Hope the link works! If not, I’ll email you the pic.
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Oh my, what a wonderful story! You’ll have to email it to me, I’m afraid the link isn’t working right now. The shower cap shroud is the perfect detail, too.
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